Joy is brief (poem)

The tsunami-sized sadness returns
dragging whatever it finds on the beach
back into the depths of below that are still
writhing with disbelief of uncertainty.

It was sunny yesterday
It was sunny today
It was sunny a minute ago
paradise is not a safeguard against natural disasters
in the suspended state of moment sized grief
which is like ordinary sized grief
without the proportion of events to justify it

I feel shocked
I am reminded how quickly
I fall in love
with the things that
make me happy
in brief reunion that
I was silly to mistake
for a fresh start
and at this moment I am reminded
that there is a space between life and death

I don’t fear death
I don’t fear living
I fear the space in between
we are so close to both
at each moment of the day
the fragility of each move we make
balancing the fine line
between getting what is good
or not at all

How precious we are
How many cracks have already formed
How quickly things can end
before they’ve ever really started…

Yet all I have ever craved is the middle
Yet all I have ever craved is to move on
from this place I know
where everything I start(ed)
begins to look like a middle,
until it ends.

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